As the Days Fly By

So my blog title is sort of like a soap opera title. But one thing i've been thinking about a bit lately is the feeling of less drama in my life. I'm sure its is comparable to how mothers must feel after raising a child and sending them off to college - having more time for themselves and not utterly consumed by all the things raising a kid entails. The early morning school drop off, the soccer practices and sleep overs. How tired parents probably are all the time and i bet they get so used to it they don't even notice until a few weeks after their child goes off to college and they aren't involved in the day-to-day buzz.

And all of a sudden you realize something is different. The air feels a bit less heavy, the rain sounds different when it pings against the window pane. Making dinner plans is less complicated and life all around has changed.

I went through a childhood and my teenage years without a whole lot of drama. I stayed out of dramas way and it stayed out of mine, too. Even college wasn't too dramatic. Then after college, it seemed like drama had a warrent out for me and when it found me - it nearly knocked me down. For about 3 years - life was very much like a soap opera. Crazy, dramatic, movie-like situations kept happening in my life. Some of them were scenes from a comedy, others were more on the tragic side.

And then - finally drama got tired of me and moved along its' way to ambush some other unsuspecting soul. Then the sun felt different - it seemed more kind. The wind seemed to blow more gently - a caress instead of a whip. The rain sounded soothing and its after scent a perfume. Walking up hill still took effort - but it didn't feel like the elements were against my voyage to the top.

I passed down an old yet famliar street this week, and for a moment my heart felt that old fear. The lack of control, the capacity to make bad decisions and believe they were the right ones. The inability to see clearly despite magnification.

At first, I didn't understand. Finally, I could put my finger on it - that old fear didn't belong anymore - and even though i finally realized what was missing..I didn't miss it at all.