Melt Down

Well - when you start a blog, you always have high hopes that it will be funny, charming and all the things you look for in a significant other. haha

But then as your blogging life continues - you realize that life isn't always funny and charming. And it's hard to be at your best all the time.

So this morning i had a melt down. I guess i've been on the brink of it for awhile. I've been working out and cooking healthy meals, limiting my snacking to healthy snacks and correct portions. I've been doing this for about a month or so now. And the last three weeks have been sort of a "well i didn't lose any but i didn't gain any" result and i kept telling myself that i'm probably just putting on a bit of muscle and my body is going to start really responding here soon. But it's been hard. Every other time in my life when i've put THIS much effort into being healthy - I've seen a pretty steady drop in my weight.

But today - stepped on the scale and i'm 1.8 pounds heavier than i was last week. I mean - almost two pounds? *sigh*

It's just so frustrating. So hard to keep my chin up and to keep trying to make better choices and push myself to work out even when i really just want to go home and do nothing. And then to work that hard and GAIN weight?

Its just hard to find the motivation in that to continue. Ultimately, i am going to continue to try. I have to because i want to be healthy and i want to be happy. On sunday i'll be starting the 30 Day Shakeology Challenge with a few friends. It's basically a healthy meal replacement that is equal to all your fruits and veggie needs in one shake. So i am going to start doing that and i think i'll replace my dinner with it this week. My only thought is that maybe i need to reconsider my big meal timing. Move it more to breakfast/lunch and do the shake for dinner.

Who knows. I just know i have to keep trying. Tears before 8am are not fun. I'm determined to be who i know i can be and be the healthier, happier version of myself that i was a little over a year and a half ago.

Where did that gal go?