A lot about changing lately....

Okay. I've not been very good about blogging lately. I'm trying to get away from that old saying that the best writing comes from the tormented. But honestly, it's hard to write consistently (at least for me) during times in my life where i'm feeling content. But on the other hand - i don't want to look back on my blog life and just see chapter upon chapter of sad and depressed. Because that's not really what my life is like. I just tend to document the bad stuff. Which is really quite sad.

Because i've been thinking a lot lately about happiness. And the future. And how in just one short year, my whole life has been flipped upsidedown and for once - i made the right decision for myself. I always joke that i'm right about 99% of the time (which is for the most part true ;) ) But ultimately, we've all made some bad decisions. Which i guess *sigh* means that i was probably wrong some of the time.

Either way - my point is that sometimes making those really gut wrenching this will change the direction my life is going choices is really the best medicine for someone in between a rock and a hard place. I mean - you got there by sort of wedging yourself in, perhaps trying to find some comfort in that weird spot. But the only way out is probably going to be a bit painful, it might leave some bruises or scratches. It might even leave a scar.

But being in the open - with no rock and no hard place in sight, it's like magic. A gulp of really fresh air when you've been indoors too long.

I've been reading a few friends blogs, and of course, talking to friends over the phone, the internet or in person. It seems like everyone is always talking about changing - it happening, it not happening, our refusal to let it happen (it will happen anyway).

Change is neccessary. Seasons change. There is day and night. There are clouds on some days and bright sunshine the next. There is a high tide, a low tide, and sometime no tide at all. The undertow sweeps one person away and is gone immediately. All around us - change is happening, and most of the time that change around us is actually TO us. Or in some peoples opinion - AT us. Like an attack.

It's unnatural to not change. I mean they have how many tv shows about people who are stuck in the past that need to be updated because they just look crazy dressing that way? Change is good. It keeps us moving, keeps us from growing stagnant in our lives, in our thoughts.

And even though its painful sometimes, change is the cure. On the other side of a really painful change - i have no choice but to be an advocate for change. Because it's brought me a new beginning and happiness that i didnt even know existed before.

So what if i had refused to change? If i allowed myself to stay wedged between that rock and hard place - waiting for it to just start feeling better instead of doing something about my situation? I would not be here. Literally. I would not be sitting at this computer writing this blog to you. Because i'd still be there - in that chair in a different city being miserable about several different situations in my life.

We have to open ourselves up to the danger of change. Let it consume us, let it reveal itself to us over time without us shoving it forward on our own paths or at our own speed.

It's like a train that you have to jump on - wind in your face, off to a new place. Or else you get left behind.