I'm Missing You, Christmas

Someone said to me today that they just weren't quite in the Christmas spirit yet, and they needed to get there. I was thinking something similar the other day on my commute back home from work. I find myself constantly switching radio stations looking for a song i like and two stations play nothing but Christmas music 24/7 these days. I quickly move past the stations and the other day i wondered why i was so quick to buzz past them. Like the thought of listening to Christmas music was absurd.

But today is one week away from Christmas. And i only realized that during lunch today when someone else said it out loud. One week and I'm still not ready to sing along with the Christmas songs. I remember over the last few years that Christmas has just felt so different than it used to. And maybe that is part of growing up - the constant battle for who's house it will be spent at, what should we bring for lunch or dinner, asking for wish lists and pushing our way through overcrowded stores to make sure everything is just right. And As a child, I knew about none of these things - it was just the holidays and there were parties and cookies to eat, random gifts to open and pretty cards in the mail. And one morning you just woke up really early because you wanted to and there were so many presents to unwrap and new toys to play with.

This Christmas will again be a race against time to do everything and be with everyone in a short period of time. And i'm feeling like I'm missing you, Christmas. Like an old friend. The one that used to be so easy to talk to - the one that didn't take any effort at all. It was just simple and honest and in the moment.

The last few years after Christmas day has ended and i'm lugging my suitcase and new gifts from my car to my house - i realize that somehow i've just forgotten everything. The whole reason for this holiday to begin with. And i feel burdened with this guilt of how in the struggle to spend time with everyone and do everything - I've forgotten to take a few moments to stop and just thank God for the best present he could ever give to me (and everyone else). And how without that gift - none of the beautiful things i remember about the holidays (or any day in fact) would be possible. They would lack hope, laughter and the wonderful forgiveness that God's gift to us provided.

So, it's true. I miss you Christmas. And i've missed the point more than a few times in my life when it comes to Christmas - and so this year, first and foremost I'm taking a moment or two to be thankful and more thoughtful about this season and what it really means. And just focusing on one gift, the one that matters most - the one i was given so long ago.