Permission to be Beautiful

Dear Self,
I give you permission to lose weight. I give you 100% support for feeling good about yourself, inside and out. I'm telling you it will be okay if people look at you and if someone might tell you you are pretty - it will be okay. It might even feel good.

I give you permission to forget the times in your life that you have felt ugly because you didn't like the way you looked, or someone else said something that made you feel bad about yourself. I allow you to look back on old pictures and laugh and realize that you are not that person anymore and to be happy that you have made progress.

I'm just letting you know that this fight is one you fight with yourself and no one else. In the end, only you are standing in our way. Your fear of being noticed, and your fear of it not being because someone is saying or thinking something nice is one that you can let go of now.

You have my permission to feel beautiful.

Love,
Me.


I think i've been standing in my own way for a long time. I have joked with some of my friends that i self sabotage - but i've been realizing lately that it's not a joke. I do it for real. I am catching myself trying to self-sabotage lately and I'm putting a stop to it. I'm one of those people who loves to be the center of attention and at the same time it has to be on my own terms. I am actually pretty shy if you were to look down deep into my soul.

I spent a lot of my life learning to laugh at myself and in the process ended up finding out that im pretty funny. And when people are laughing at me because i'm being funny - i'm happy with that. But in an instant, i'm feeling self conscious they are laughing at a joke ABOUT me and i realize - this quality of life and self confidence is no good unless i really feel 100% good about ME.

Inside and out. Some people say that it doesn't matter what's on the outside. I think that is how i've lived my life for the most part and it's been my excuse for not working to look the way i want to look. There is nothing wrong with working hard to feel good about yourself. And i need to stop being so scared of reaching my goal. Because then - what will i complain about? And what would it be like to just BE there instead of always just talking about it?

So...no more mind games. No more wondering. It's going to happen. And i'm going to like it.