A Work in Progress

So, having a dog is a lot of work. Having a puppy is like turning your world upside down.

Never have i worried so much about a little being in my house. Of course, I've taken care of other people's children and not that that isn't stressful at times - but in the end, they eventually go back home to their mothers and fathers.

Well this little puppy is with me for good. There is no break, no "wow, that was a long day" and going home to relax anymore. Now there are vet bills, and me worrying about him teething and trying to teach him right from wrong.

Establishing puppy talk such as:
"No bites!"
"Icy?"
"Where is squirrel?"
"Go find monkey!"
"Do your business!"

I feel like most the time i have no idea what i'm doing. I've never had so much constant responsibility. If something happens, I'm in charge. I'm always hoping nothing happens. If there is ever a tick - will i be able to figure out what i should do?

The nights of endless barking aren't as bas as they were at first. He's actually learning how to use the doggy door which has made the whole "Do your business" thing a lot easier. But he still barks and howls at everything. Especially me when I'm trying to do something else.

After a particularly terrible puppy evening a few weeks ago, my fiance said "If you can't handle this puppy - how will we ever have children?"

All i could think is "you are absolutely right. This is making me believe I'll be a terrible mother."

And i was disappointed in myself. Wondering where all my patience had gone. Wondering if i could ever have enough love and patience to deal with an actual human being depending on me for it's entire existence if i can't even put up with an over excitable puppy.

Is this a lesson learned? A warning?

And then i turn around to see him quietly nestled on one of my fiances pillow - sleeping and being so amazingly cute.












I see him tackling a tiny pumpkin and wondering what i ever did before we had him.

And i'm thinking how warm and exciting it is to start our family. And how patience isn't something you receive overnight - it's always a work in progress. And how one night he frustrates me, and the next I'm in love.

Welcome to our family, little Yoshi, my big brown bear!