A little far out....

I know that i tend to just write about working out or inspirations for being healthier on this blog...at least lately. But I've been having this weird feeling lately. Like i'm becoming an outsider in what used to be my circle of friends.

Not that they don't love me. But i just feel far away. When i do get invited to things - i feel like they are talking about all these times when I wasn't invited. So i don't know what's going on. And i have this sort of out of body feeling where i'm looking down at myself and just feel like i'm floating up, up and away from what's happening right there in front of me.

I try not to be upset about it. I'm sure it's not on purpose. I'm sure they haven't stopped loving me. But sometimes i think they do forget about me. Is it because I'm getting married? Is it because I live a few more miles up the road? Do i never cross their minds when they are thinking who to invite over? I mean - in the past, it would be weird if i wasn't there. Like if all of them were, and i wasn't. They would text me and call me and say "dre - where are you?"

Because I was part of that group. And honestly, i just feel like I haven't done anything different and for whatever reason, they've just forgotten about me. I don't get called for brunch. I don't get called for the cookout party they are having.

Is it wrong to expect an invitation even if they think i can't come? I always try to invite people even if i know they might have other plans. Because i never want anyone to feel left out. Because i can tell you from experience - it's not a very nice feeling.

Are my life choices separating me from my old friends? Am i isolating myself somehow? Do they not think i'm as fun as i used to be? Have i said "no" too many times? Or is this all in my head?

*sigh* I guess on the other side of this, I've been hanging out with new friends, too. It's like this divide - couple friends, single friends. Not really that my single friends are single - but it's like, the people that i used to hang out with before just sort of on my own. And then the new people in my life that the FI and I hang out with as couples. NOt that we don't hang out with the "single" friends together. Because, there are other couples in that group, too.

*sigh* It doesn't really make any sense. Just feeling sort of lonely, even though I'm not really alone.